WELCOME TO STANKY SHORES
Where Safety and Hygiene Come First
Discover a waterpark where every detail matters. From crystal clear water to world class safety standards, we’ve created an environment where families can make lasting memories with complete peace of mind.
Our Facilities & Amenities
Swimming Pools
Access to our crystal clear swimming areas, perfect for leisurely swims, water exercise, or simply relaxing on a warm day. Our pools are meticulously maintained for optimal comfort and safety.
Water Slides
Experience our exciting water slide attractions featuring gentle curves for beginners and thrilling drops for adventure seekers. Each slide is engineered for safety with generous weight capacity accommodations.
Diving Platforms
Test your diving skills on our professionally designed diving platforms. Whether you’re perfecting your technique or making your first leap, our facilities provide a safe environment for all skill levels.
Relaxation Areas
Unwind in our comfortable lounge areas with both sunny and shaded seating options. The perfect spot to relax between activities while enjoying the sounds of our waterpark environment.
Shower Facilities
Fresh, clean shower facilities are conveniently located throughout the park. We encourage all guests to rinse off before and after enjoying our water attractions to maintain optimal hygiene standards.
Dining Options
Satisfy your appetite with our variety of food and beverage options, from light snacks to full meals. All prepared with the same attention to cleanliness and quality that defines our entire facility.
Meet Our Founder
Our founder brings passion for safety and cleanliness to every aspect of Stanky Shores. With years of dedication to creating the perfect environment, he personally oversees every detail from water quality testing to staff training, ensuring that each visit exceeds your expectations.
Known for his hands on approach, you might spot him testing equipment, training staff, or even demonstrating proper diving techniques. His commitment to excellence is evident in every pool and every safety protocol, it’s this personal touch that makes Stanky Shores truly special.
But he warns people that leave bad reviews:
Safety & Certifications
Professional Lifeguards
Our certified lifeguards receive comprehensive training in water safety, emergency response, and CPR. They undergo regular skill assessments to maintain the highest standards of guest protection.
Superior Water Quality
We conduct daily water testing and use advanced filtration technology to ensure pristine conditions. Our water quality consistently exceeds state and federal standards for clarity and safety.
Regular Safety Inspections
All equipment and facilities undergo rigorous state certified inspections and comprehensive maintenance protocols to ensure they meet or exceed industry safety requirements.
Health Department Excellence
We’ve earned outstanding sanitation and safety ratings from state health authorities, consistently ranking among the cleanest recreational facilities in our region.
Industry Leadership
Recognized with regional waterpark excellence certifications and safety awards for our unwavering commitment to guest safety and facility maintenance standards.
Environmental Stewardship
Certified for sustainable practices and water conservation initiatives, demonstrating our commitment to responsible environmental stewardship in our community.
⚖️ LEGAL & CONDUCT NOTICE
At Stanky Shores, we pride ourselves not only on having the safest, cleanest, most fun waterpark in the history of the world, but also on having the most unstoppable legal team ever assembled.
If you’re thinking about hurting yourself on purpose just to file a lawsuit, don’t. You will not win. You will not even come close. All you’ll get is a mountain of legal bills, a bruised ego, and the knowledge that you picked a fight with the equivalent of an unbreakable fortress just because you’re a dadgum simpleton. It’s not worth your time, your money, or your dignity.
Guest Conduct: We expect all visitors to treat our staff, attractions, and fellow guests with respect. Extreme misbehavior, including violence, vandalism, or any act that endangers others, may result in immediate removal from the park or, if you are of legal age, a temporary stay in the Drench Closet, a cold, wet, and very boring time out where you can reflect on your life choices while getting periodically sprayed with lagoon water by the owner himself.
Automatic Agreement: By purchasing any ticket to Stanky Shores, whether online or at the gate, you automatically agree to all park rules, including the Drench Closet Penalty mentioned in the Guest Conduct section. This Penalty is part of your purchase contract and is legally binding. Entry to the park constitutes full acceptance of these terms, no exceptions, no excuses. By entering Stanky Shores, you accept full responsibility for your actions, acknowledge that our legal team is a force of nature you do not want to challenge, and agree that any attempt to sue will be a colossal waste of your time, money, and energy. GOOBER.
⚠️ HEALTH & SAFETY NOTICE
Before diving into the wild waves of Stanky Shores, we strongly recommend that all guests be fully vaccinated against every known infectious disease on planet Earth. Yes, every single one. From the classics like measles and mumps to the obscure ones you’ve only heard about in biology class, if there’s a shot for it, get it. Why? Because Stanky Shores is a high energy, high contact zone where fun spreads fast, and so can germs. We want your visit to be unforgettable for all the right reasons.
In addition, for your own safety, we highly recommend wearing earplugs and nasal plugs while swimming or riding attractions. This helps prevent unwanted encounters with microscopic protozoa, including the rare but notorious Naegleria fowleri, also known as the “brain eating amoeba.” Keep your brain where it belongs, your ears clear, and your memories happy. So suit up, plug in, and enjoy your visit responsibly.
DISCLAIMER: By entering Stanky Shores, you acknowledge and accept that the waterpark is not responsible for any injuries, illnesses, infections, or fatalities that may occur during your visit, whether in the water, on attractions, or elsewhere on the premises. All activities are undertaken at your own risk.